A Match Made in Heaven?
by Clarity2199
Summary: Re-edited. KJ parody, based on all the cliche's of Yugioh fanfiction immaginable when it comes to Joey and Kaiba pairing. You've been warned.
1. Chapter 1

**YUGIOH**

A Match Made in Heaven?

Narr: You're almost 'too' typical get together with Kaiba and Joey, combined with 'true love', the break-up and get back together, and some other various things thrown-in.

This is basically all the Kaiba/Joey cliche's I seen and read from many various fanfics through the years. Hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh. Also, keep in mind there are 'many' fics that I have seen, and 'many' fics out there that tend to have very common plot points. So, if another author happens to see a joke scene that they find is similar to their own story, it does 'not' mean their story is the one I read and made an example of. I am not naming stories nor author names of anything I have read in the past (plus, many were so long ago, I wouldn't remember such things, anyway). The point of the story is basically to laugh and make light of the general cliche's out there. I am not doing this to point fingers or make fun of anyone.

Warning: yaoi, K/J, language, rape, incest, abuse, and enough idiocy to make your brain melt.

Note: This is only a 3 chapter story. It's not a one shot, but it's certainly not very long, either.

* * *

Chapter 1.

Kaiba had left work one night. It was infact the first night he left work in 2 months. Being the work-aholic that he was, he had worked constantly for that amount of time, without eating and sleeping. The man looked like a pale-looking walking skeleton. Infact, since a person can't go without eating that long, he literally 'was' a walking skeleton wearing a trench coat.

As the skeleton walked along down the street, he had abruptly stopped, hearing a noise. Of course, being a crowded city from Japan...one would normally hear all sorts of noises, even at night. But THIS noise was different! And he didn't know why it was different...it just was. So, the skeletal Kaiba went to investigate the special noise that stood out only for him.

Down a dark alley where no one goes was Joey Wheeler. He was dressed in fish-net stockings, a tight leather skirt and vest, and enough woman's make-up to kill a goat. Dressed in drag, he was trying to pick up whoever wanted him, to get money to pay for his Dad's drinking habit so he wouldn't beat him. Unfortunately, being Joey....he didn't realize the fact that he wasn't going to find too many customers in a dark abandoned alley.

'Oh, woah! My life is so terrible!' He thought as the tears came out, smudging his mascara. 'If only a handsome prince would sweep me off my feet and save me from this terrible life!'

Suddenly, a looming shadow fell over him...even though it was already dark, and Joey gasped in fear. It was his....FATHER!!

"No, no, don't hurt me!" Joey whined and whimpered, groveling in a corner like a total wimp, even though he was normally anything but a coward.

"Where's my money?!" The man slurred. "I need more beer, and you're supposed to pay for it!"

"Uh....I couldn't find anyone that wanted me!" Joey said, hoping his sympathy speech would be enough to calm his drunken father. "I humped a cat, but all I got paid for it was this fish bone!"

"That's not enough to buy me beer! Now, you'll PAY!!!" The father yelled, spitting in Joey's face as he did so.

Joey groveled and cried as the man slapped him around, and still not doing anything to defend himself. Then when the father got bored with that, he changed to punching him for while. He then pulled out his 2x4 and hit him with that multiple times. Then when that wasn't enough, he came out with his car and ran him over.

By this time, Joey was a small pile of mush on the floor, that looked like mashed potatoes mixed with fish net stockings. 'Oh, woah....my life is so bad! I suck!!'

Watching for a minute as Joey's tears came out like a small waterfall, dribbling down the mashed potatoe pile that was his body and creating a river of self-pity, the drunken father considered if he should beat him some more or not. Finally tossing the car away, he said, "What the hell....I might as well get a freebee from you, since I don't have any cash for a hooker, myself."

But before the father could do the unthinkable to him, there was a voice, saying, "Don't you dare touch him!!"

Both the father and the mashed potatoes turned to see Kaiba! Strangely enough, he looked perfectly normal (and alive) at the time, wearing what looked like some sort of princely outfit with a flowing cape....something that could be considered as a rip-off from a Snow White or Sleeping Beauty movie.

"It's Kaiba!" Joey thought dreamily.

Kaiba charged forward, beating the living shit out of the drunken father, and lifting the fat man up, as he stood in a 'hero' pose. He then tossed the man away in a nearby garbage can.

Kaiba then approached Joey, who looked up at him with stars in his eyes. Actually, Joey never looked more pitiful to Kaiba. He was dressed as a low-life transvestite prostitute with makeup smeared all over his face. He was also beaten-up and there wasn't one spot that didn't looked swollen. Joey was well-used from past incidences, and those nasty clothes were all shredded. And yet....Kaiba felt he never saw a more beautiful sight.

So, Kaiba began to re-shape the mashed potatoes back into a man, and said, "Let's go home."

"I don't have a home." Joey sniveled and cried. "And I don't wanna go back to my Dad cuz he'll abuse me more and try to rape me again! But if I leave, he'll stalk me and try to kill me!!"

"You....really got a serious family problem, don't you?" Kaiba muttered.

"Yes!" Joey cried. "My life is so terrible! Er....but don't tell anyone that. Because they don't know. Well, Tristan does cuz he's my best friend. But he doesn't do anything about it."

"Nice friend." Kaiba commented.

Joey waved his hands, saying, "That doesn't mean he's not a good friend! It just means he's not my handsome Prince to save me from this terrible life!"

"....yeah." Kaiba nodded, thinking maybe Joey's been watching 'way' too many soap opera stories.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

So, Kaiba brought Joey home with him. They walked in the door, as Kaiba casually asked, "How would you like to live with me here forever? I'll love you and protect you and make sure you're safe from all harm."

"Wow! You must be my handsome Prince that came to save me! You'll love me, even if I'm a used prostitute who's been beaten every day of my life?" Joey asked.

"....well...." Kaiba muttered, now thinking about it.

At that moment, a maid walked in with her hair sticking out strangely and a buggy-eyed look on her face. Next to her was Mokuba who came bounding in. "Seto, you finally made it back! And this time, it only took you 2 months to come home instead of 6! Something amazing must have happened to you! Are you in love? Are you in love with Joey? Are you in love with Joey and gay? I knew it all along, by the way! Infact, I even told his friends that you're in love with Joey....but they all ready knew that, too!"

"Uh...." Kaiba muttered, not exactly sure what to say to that.

Joey then turned to Mokuba and blurted, "Wait a minute! You're saying you haven't seen yer brother in 2 months? Aren't you like the Vice President?"

"Yeah, but I'm a 13 year old Vice President that for some reason needs a babysitter, out of the blue. So, we had the maid here watching over me while Seto was at work!" Mokuba said.

As he said so, the baby sitter's eye twitched and she pleaded, "Can I go home now....please???"

"No! You have to cook for Seto! He obviously hasn't eaten during the whole time he was at work, since he looks like the walking dead again! Seto, you said you wouldn't do that!" Mokuba chastised him.

The skeleton answered, "I wasn't hungry."

Joey looked towards him, seeing the skeletal form for the first time and leaped back in terror. "Yaaaahhh!!"

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

After food was placed before Kaiba and Joey, the maid quickly ran away, screaming, "Freedom!!!"

Joey ate ten servings of food, while Kaiba ate half a serving of salad. Joey looked over at Kaiba, after which. Kaiba was once again looking atleast alive and not a skeleton, anymore.

Joey then muttered, "You know, being that I now have feelings for you, I'm really concerned over the fact that you eat so little. Anyway....you gonna eat the rest of that? If not, can I have it??"

"Help yourself." Kaiba said, pushing the left-over salad over to him, then pulling out his laptop to type at the kitchen table.

"By the way, Joey....why are you all beat-up and dressed up like a female hooker?" Mokuba suddenly asked.

Joey turned deathly pale, as Kaiba said quickly, "Halloween party!"

"But it's April." Mokuba said.

They looked at each other, as Joey muttered, "I was....rehearsing for the party...??"

"Oh. Well, I think you'll win first prize, Joey! You look just like a used and abused tramp! It's like you really are one! Boy, you fooled me!" Mokuba said, as Joey could barely keep himself from bawling like a baby.

Mokuba then got up, saying, "Well, I'm going to leave you two love birds alone, now." And gave a stupid giggle as he skipped up to his room.

"Kaiba?" Joey asked. "How come you don't eat much? And how come you work all the time? And why did you make your 13 year old brother the Vice President, if you think he still needs a babysitter to watch over him instead of working for you?"

Kaiba ignored the last question, and answered, "Joey....you see, you're not the only one with problems. I too have a shady past."

"That can't be!!" Joey exclaimed in total shock, after he had somehow totally forgotten everything he learned about Kaiba from Noah's virtual world. "I mean....you have money! And money solves everything! Yeah, we knew you came from an orphanage, but you were adopted by a rich dad! You 'had' to be a spoiled rotten brat! I always thought you were, because you treated me so badly. But even though you did, I still loved you!!"

Kaiba looked serious, and replied, "Joey....I'm going to tell you the problems of my past. And it's not pretty."

He then closed up his laptop, and explained, "You see....I once had a language tutor that I was in love with. I was young, and naive, and didn't even know why I had these feelings for another guy. But one day, I was alone with him and he had been drinking. He cornered me and told me he was going to rape me against my will, even though I didn't want him to. Well, I did....but I didn't want to let him know that. But, just then....a few of his friends showed up. And they said they'd give him 10 bucks if he let them go first in raping me. And my tutor agreed. Well, I couldn't handle that. I mean....he could have atleast raped me first 'before' passing me to his friends. But, no! He let them go first! So, I found an oozie that happened to be laying on the floor, and I KILLED THEM ALL!!! Even the tutor!!"

A single tear then fell from one eye, as he sniffed, "And I never got over my first love for him. I still love him! I occasionally go to visit his grave, so I can dig him up and hump his dead body. I will never love anyone more than him....not even you!"

Joey blinked. "Uh....isn't that from Gravitation??"

Kaiba stopped and pulled out a script. "Oh, yeah....wrong background." He ripped it up and started over. "Yes....I was adopted into a rich household. But, my stepfather was mean and cruel."

"Isn't he supposed to be your adopted father?" Joey asked.

"Yes, but I call him stepfather anyway....just because." Kaiba answered. "So, anyway....in order to protect Mokuba, I had to let him take all his rage out on me. Like you, he used to beat me, starve me, never let me sleep. It's probably why I'm used to letting myself starve to death and die on occasion. And like you, he'd also make me get dressed up in tacky uniforms, then rape me and sell me to his security guards. Well....passing me to the security guards was actually kind of fun. But, still....in order to protect my brother, I had to do it all!"

Joey gasped. "That's terrible! We're exactly the same! I never knew you had it so bad!"

"Yes. It's why I picked on you all the time....because you reminded me of my past. But, now things have changed! Even though I have learned to not believe in pity and charity, I decided to help you anyway." Kaiba said.

Joey thought about that. "That's kinda hypocritical....aint it?"

"Yes. But for you, you deserve it because I love you....even though I don't believe in love, either." Kaiba said.

"Oooookay!" Joey nodded. "By the way, didn't we know each other and used to be best of friends as kids back when you used to be in the orphanage, even though I was never an orphan?"

"No." Kaiba answered. "And neither of use are bi-polar either, nor do I have any deadly diseases that are killing me."

As Kaiba said that, his arm fell off. Kaiba looked down at it, and non-challantly brushed it under a piece of furniture, muttering, "Don't mind that....just a flesh wound."

"Anyway...." Kaiba continued on, like normal. "Unlike you, I didn't wallow in self-pity. I actually did something about it. So, when my stepfather was standing near a window one day, I sprang out and said, 'Boo!', and scared him out the window! No....maybe I just won the company, making him jump out the window. No, wait a minute....I picked up that oozie laying on the ground and shot him multiple times...."

20 minutes later....

"....no, I remember! I hired a wrecking crew! One of those giant balls smashed right into him, while he was standing at the window!!" Kaiba exclaimed.

"Well, the point is you found some way to get rid of yer step-er....adopted dad, right??" Joey asked, desperately trying to get him to shut up on the same topic.

"Exactly!" Kaiba said. "By the way, do you need me to kill your Dad? To show my love and to help protect you, I'll take him out. Of course, you'll have to pay me for it. How much do you charge per hour?"

"No! I love my Dad!" Joey stated. "Even if he beats me and abuses me, runs me over with his car, rapes me, and sells me for gambling and beer....I still love the guy!! He's my Daddy!!"

Kaiba looked at him, unable to understand Joey's logic in the least. 'I have a feeling this might become a possible snag in our relationship.'

* * *

Narr: This fic is infact a dedication story to Growing Pain, in which I was actually inspired to write this after some of our conversations together. I hope you like, and thanks for idea.


	2. Chapter 2

**YUGIOH**

A Match Made in Heaven?

Chapter 2.

Joey and Kaiba made it to school. As Kaiba continued to class, pretending not to care for him, Joey stopped at his locker.

"Hi, Joey!!" A strange woman said, who showed up out of no where.

Joey turned, wondering who this person was. For some reason, she looked like the most perfect person in the entire universe....even though he didn't know why.

All the kids in school seemed to drool going by her, wishing she would focus on them. Yet, she only seemed to have eyes for Joey.

"Uh....how do you know my name?" Joey asked. "And, who are you?"

"Me?" She asked, perhaps too sweetly. "Why, my name is Mary Sue!"

"AHHH!!!" Joey screamed, suddenly terrified by the creature next to him. He then paused, saying, "Wait a minute....this aint a Mary Sue story. It's a Joey/Kaiba story!"

"Oh, I know that." She replied. "I'm actually one of those author-created people who are just put into a story to make you and Kaiba jealous."

"What do you mean?" Joey asked.

"Well....if I'm all over you, then Kaiba will be jealous and think you're interested in me, instead." She said, smiling fakely.

"Why would you want to do that?" Joey asked.

She answered, "I don't know. I'm bored, I guess."

He then added, "Plus, this whole idea don't even make any sense. I mean....I'm into guys. Why would that even work? And how did you even know that me and Kaiba are together in the first place?"

She shrugged, stating, "Hey, I didn't write the plot."

"So, what happens if your attempt doesn't work?" Joey asked.

She replied, "Well, then I hang all over Kaiba and make you jealous."

"That's it, I'm outta here!" Joey said, stalking away. He then yelled back, "And stay away from my boyfriend!!"

She gave a giggle, assuming her 'plan' was working, and skipped to class, herself.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Joey made it to class, fuming with anger and jealousy about that woman, even though it didn't make any sense to be jealous over her. His friends weren't very surprised since Joey always seemed to be fuming over something. Yet, there 'was' something that did seem to concern them.

"Joey, are you okay?" Yugi asked. "What happened to you? How did you get all those bruises all over you?"

"Yeah." Tea said. "And why do you seem to have constant bruises on you almost every day?"

Yugi then asked, "And why does it look like you have bits of makeup on your face?"

From the questions, Joey looked immediately frightened that they may finally find out his secret that his Dad abuses him constantly.

Tristan laughed, slapping his hand on Joey's shoulder, which made him flinch since there were bruises there, too. "You know Joey, always getting into fights and dressing up as a clown. That's really clown make-up, isn't it Joey?"

"Uh....yeah. Clown makeup. Cuz I'm such a clown. Ha. Ha." Joey fakely said, not sounding convincing in the least.

But Yugi nodded, totally believing it. "Of course! We totally believe you!" He said, without even a questioning thought in his head.

Tea said, "You shouldn't let yourself get into so many fights, Joey. And you should also try some bolder colors for that makeup. That blush color on you works better for mimes or cheap hookers."

Joey swallowed, "I'll keep that in mind."

"By the way." Yugi smiled. "You know you can't hide anything from us, Joey. You and Kaiba are seeing each other, aren't you?"

Joey just gaped, trying to figure out how his friends could be so clueless about his problems with his Dad, and yet could so easily tell that him and Kaiba were an item.

Tea nodded, "And I bet you moved in with him too, huh?"

"And you also slept with him, didn't you?" Tristan grinned, elbowing Joey.

Tea giggled, saying, "Oh, definitely. Look at him....he has that glow!"

"What the fuck, man! How the hell do you guys know all that???" Joey asked, trying to figure out how everyone seemed to know about this, even though it was being kept a secret.

Yugi replied, "You can't fool us!"

Joey just gaped. Finally, he spat. "Wait a minute....I've been beaten and abused by my Dad since I was ten, and you guys can't even figure that out! And yet, you can suddenly tell everything about my love life??"

Immediately after, Joey slapped his hand on his mouth, realizing he basically admitted his past problems to his friends that he was trying to keep secret.

Tristan looked panicky, and yet both Yugi and Tea began to laugh. Tea said, "Wow, that's a good clown act, Joey."

"Yeah." Yugi agreed. "You're a natural!"

Just then, the bell rang....even though it seemed like it just rang for them a minute ago to start class. They got up, now all heading to the hall for their second class. Yugi went with Tea, saying, "We're going to our lockers....see you at lunch, Joey!"

Joey half waved, unable to believe that despite admitting almost everything to his friends, they still didn't get it. 'They can't be 'that' stupid!'

Tristan grabbed Joey, once again making him flinch. "Whew....that was close. Good thinking with that clown act to throw them off. But, you better be careful man, or they might start to suspect."

"What clown act?! I just told them everything!" Joey said.

Tristan then smacked him on the back, making Joey whimper, and laughed himself. "Man, you are a natural, Joey. We'll see you at lunch. Unless you're going to see your boyfriend, you dog!" Tristan then laughed and walked away.

Joey just shook his head. 'Is the whole world really that clueless??'

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

After school, Joey took his school backpack and began to walk towards Kaiba's....which was now also his home.

He stepped into the road and pulled out a pack of cigarettes to smoke, even though there was no clue in this story that he even smoked up until now. Suddenly, he heard someone cry, "Look out!" And turned to see....a steam roller coming right at him!

"Ahhh!!!" Joey cried, but couldn't leave the street because he was still smoking a cigarette. "Can't move! Busy smoking cigarette!!" He cried in exasperation.

"Look out!" That same random person cried in a panic, as the person inside the steam roller gave off an evil laugh and continued to barrel towards him.

"What can I do?? I have a cigarette, so I still can't leave the road!" Joey cried in fear.

This scene continued a good 15 minutes until the snail-moving steam roller finally reached him and slowly ran him over.

Poor Joey, and he had almost finished his cigarette.

After running him over, the person came out and shot him multiple times with a gun....just for safe measures.

Joey then stood and said, "Oh, no....I'm blind!!"

The attacker blinked, and said, "Uh....dude. I just shot you and ran you over with a steam roller. I think your eyes should be the least of your worries."

"No, the accident made me blind!" Joey cried. "Now I might need a million dollar operation to get my eyes back, just like my sister!"

The guy shook his head, saying, "If what I did caused your eyes to go, I doubt an operation could fix them. Besides....you've been shot and ran over! What the hell does that have to do with your eyes???"

"You're right." Joey suddenly said. "Hey, I can see again! It's a miracle!"

Joey then looked down at himself to see the multiple shot wounds and the fact that he looked like a pile of mashed potatoes again. He turned to the guy, and asked, "Why 'did' you do this, anyway?"

The guy looked away sheepishly, muttering, "Well....the author kinda got bored and didn't know where to go with the story. So, they threw in a nice angst scene to try and add a little excitement to the whole thing."

"What??" Joey exclaimed. "I was shot and ran over, because the author was bored??!!" Joey then reached beyond the camera and yanked the fearful female author partially into the scene.

"Cut the shit, and get back to the damn plot, all ready!!" Joey snapped.

"Okay, Okay!" Clarity said. "Yeesh....talk about a rough crowd."

Miraculously, Joey was as good as new with absolutely no signs of panicked people, steam rollers, or any evidence that anyone had been shot.

Satisfied that all was normal, Joey continued on his way to his lover's mansion, which he could now call home.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Joey was finally there. As he went through the gates, he also noticed the limo was there. 'That's great!' Joey thought. 'That means Kaiba's home!'

Before he went inside though, Joey noticed a cat running across the lawn, and cried out, "Kaiba, is that you? Oh, no....how did you become a cat??"

Joey then bent down and pet the purring feline, asking, "Did you fall into a cursed magical pool that changed you, did someone use a Millenium Item to do this to you, you were maybe a cat all along and I never noticed, or maybe you're really a were cat!!"

"Joey, I'm in here!" Kaiba called from inside the house.

"Oh...." Joey then ignored the cat, as he sheepishly continued to walk in the house.

He opened the door, happily crying out, "Hey, Seto....I'm ho-....." And gaped at the sight before him.

In the front entrée way, Kaiba seemed to be painting. Laying down next to him was a man with an open wound in his chest. Kaiba was taking a paint brush, dipping it into the guy and painting the walls with his blood.

After Joey had picked his jaw up off the floor, he exclaimed, "What the hell are you doing??!!"

Kaiba turned to him and said, "Shhh! This is a secret. Mokuba doesn't know about this little hobby."

"Hobby??!! How often do you kill people and paint the walls with their blood??" Joey asked.

"Oh, I'm not dead!" The man casually said. "It's just a minor flesh wound."

"Uh....and you're letting him do this to you? Who 'are' you?" Joey asked.

"I'm his butler. I get great medical coverage. Believe me, it's well worth it. And as you can see, Master Seto is an excellent painter."

After Joey got over the shock value that the butler was letting Kaiba dip his paint brush into his gut to paint, he looked up at the painting. It was the picture of a BEWD killing what Joey considered might be his stepfather, er....adopted father. But instead of using white lightning, the dragon was sending various bombs and missiles from his mouth at the guy.

"Do you like it?" Kaiba asked.

"Uh....yeah!" Joey said, putting on a fake grin. "It's....different! So, how often do you paint the front entrance with this dude's blood, and how didn't Mokuba notice this yet?"

"I use this room once a week. If Johnson isn't passed out by the lack of blood by then, he normally cleans it up afterwards, so that Mokuba doesn't find out." Kaiba explains.

"So....why is the dragon shooting missiles?" Joey asked.

The butler swallowed as Kaiba clenched his brush. "Because Gozaburo had Kaiba Corp as a weapon's plant. I used it as an 'irony' to 'attack' him with his own 'weapons'!"

Every word he emphasized in passion from that sentence, he harshly plunged the paint brush into the butler's chest, fiercely dipping his paint brush....making the butler gurgle and look rather pale.

"Okay! I got it!" Joey said, putting his hands up in a desperate way to try and calm his boyfriend down, who may possibly kill his butler if he kept getting angry like that. "You know....maybe you should take a break from that painting...."

"I'm done." Kaiba said, putting the brush down. "So, you really like it? Maybe I could paint you a picture...."

"Nono! That's okay....really!" Joey answered nervously, as the butler pulled out a rag from his pocket to cover the open wound.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

They left the foyer into the kitchen where Kaiba washed his hands of the blood of his butler. "So, how was school? Anymore F grades?" He teased.

Joey suddenly looked serious, and said, "You know....I think I should tell you something. All this time you've been thinking I'm just a stupid dog and your a genius businessman. It's all a lie. You see....I'm in fact a genius. I put on this bad accent and let myself have bad grades just so people think I'm stupid, but I'm not. When I was young, I used to be a straight A student all the time. I could be now if I wanted to, but I don't."

"Why not?" Kaiba asked.

"Because my father beats me, and I'm just feeling sorry for myself. I express it in my grades." Joey said.

Kaiba paused, staring at Joey for the longest minute. He then said, "That whole crap speech was just a lie, wasn't it?"

"How can you think that's a lie??" Joey snapped. "You're ego just can't let you think that I might be smarter than you, huh?"

Kaiba paused before repeating, "That whole crap speech was just a lie, wasn't it?"

Joey's head drooped, looking pitiful once again. "Yeah...."

"So, what did you really want to say?" He asked.

"I'm having homework problems. Will you tutor me? Will you let me work with you at Kaiba Corp too, so that I can hover around you day and night, and never let you out of my sight? Not that I'm obsessed or anything...." Joey stated.

"No."

"Why not?" Joey asked.

"Because I didn't want you to find out the truth about me." Kaiba answered.

"Huh?" Joey asked.

Kaiba turned away. "The fact of the matter is....I hate my job. And the pressure of constantly finding babysitters for Mokuba and doing work that I hate has been too much. I have all ready contemplated suicide atleast twice, now. You're new presence here has been the only thing helping to keep me stable!"

Joey paused, and scratched his head. "But....you got maids taking care of Mokuba, who is also your VP and shouldn't have to be baby-sat anyway."

"That's besides the point." Kaiba muttered.

"But, I thought you liked the power, prestige, and everything that came with Kaiba Corp." Joey added.

"I do." Kaiba said.

Another heart beat later, Joey was still trying to figure this out. "Then....what the hell's the problem??"

"I'm a teenager, too! Can't I feel pressures like everyone else???" Kaiba insisted.

Joey tapped his foot, saying, "Let me get this straight. The 'real' reason you've contemplated suicide is because you really don't 'have' any pressures and just wanted to have pressures like every other teenager in the world?"

"And what's wrong with that?" Kaiba asked. "Is it so wrong to want to be normal??"

"No....I guess not." Joey muttered.

Kaiba then turned towards the pots and pans, asking, "So, do you want to bake a cake? We could have a real fluffy moment, throwing food and flower at each other."

"Nawww....that's okay. Me and fluffy....it just don't go together." Joey said.

"Are you sure?" Kaiba asked, looking his way. "By the way, I saw a golden lab earlier today and I could have sworn it was you transformed into a dog. I considered humping it, but I decided it would be better to ask you later when you were human, first."

"Nnnno....I wasn't a dog." Joey said.

Quickly changing the subject, since Joey didn't want Kaiba to remember the fact that Joey mistaken a cat for him earlier, he then asked, "Say, speaking of weird things....have you been dreaming of me? Because I've been having erotic dreams of you even before we got hooked up. But, Yugi told me that it might just be the cause of Marik or Bakura possibly playing a joke on us by using a book of Egyptian shadow magic, making us dream of each other."

Kaiba answered, "Well, yes I have. But, I didn't think much of it, since I've been also having those nightmares of my father abusing me. Now every time someone says cantaloupe, I cringe and cry like a little girl without even knowing it. Of course, that doesn't mean I have any emotional or mental problems....because I don't."

"Wow, really?" Joey asked. "Just by saying cantaloupe?"

"WAAAHHH!!! Mommy!!!" Kaiba started to squeal as he curled up in a corner, bawling his eyes out and sucking his thumb.

"Oh, no! How do I snap him out of it??" Joey asked in fear.

"Oh, hi, Joey....hi Seto." Mokuba said, after finally coming home from school. He looked over at his brother cringing like a pathetic girl, and asked, "Seto, can I have some candy?"

"No!" Kaiba snapped, immediately returning to normal. "You know what happens to you when you eat too much of that crap."

Mokuba smiled back at Joey knowingly, as if to say, 'he's okay, now', and walked out of the room with a can of pop, which was 'so much better' than candy.

"Okay....well...." Joey muttered, now that Mokuba was gone, having yet another question to ask him, without even thinking once about mentioning that weird moment to his lover. "Can I ask another thing from you?"

"What is it?" Kaiba asked, looking up a recipe to possibly make a cake, anyway.

"Can I borrow a few million dollars from you?" He asked.

Kaiba turned to him and asked, "Why?"

"For my sister's eyes. She's going blind." Joey answered.

Kaiba looked at him strangely, then once again pulled a script from his back pocket. "Didn't you all ready save her eyesight from the whole Duelist Kingdom event?"

"Well, yeah....but I was gonna try and conveniently forget that point. Well, then it's for me! I'm going blind, too! Can you save my eyesight?" Joey asked. "You see, I got hit by a steam roller earlier, and...."

Kaiba then suddenly shoved the story script in his face, and asked, "Can you see this?"

"Pregnant??" Joey freaked, grasping at the script in shock. "I'm going to be pregnant??!!" He then paused, thinking about that. "Can guys even get pregnant? Damn, I'd probably know this, if I didn't fail Health class...."

Kaiba quickly snatched it back, putting it back in his pocket. "Obviously, you're fine....you don't need my money."

".....drat." Joey muttered, who really wanted to instead just blow it all on shoes, or Duel Monster cards at Yugi's game shop.

"Enough of this." Kaiba said, tossing the recipe in the garbage. "Come with me. There's something I want to show you."

Joey swallowed and replied, "As long as it don't have anything else to do with paintings...."

"Of course not. Why would you think that?" He asked Joey back.

Joey shook his head. "No reason."

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

As Kaiba was leading Joey down the hall, the phone suddenly rang. Kaiba answered it, saying, "Hello?"

After a moment's pause, he handed it to Joey, saying, "It's for you."

Joey took it, asking, "Hello?"

"Hi, Joey!! It's me, you're 'real' true-love, Mary Sue!!" She sweetly said to him.

"AHHHH!!" He screamed.

"By the way, I'm going steal Kaiba away from you, even though I don't know why."

"You stay away from my boyfriend!!" He snapped, and quickly hung up the phone.

"Who was that?" Kaiba asked, suspicious and feeling a twinge of jealousy.

"No one!" Joey spat. "Especially not some crazy stalker lady created in some lame attempt to pull us apart!"

Kaiba just stared at him strangely from that comment.

Joey added, "If anyone else calls, just tell them neither of us are here! I don't care who it is!"

"Ooookay." Kaiba said and continued to lead him down the hall, as he wondered if Joey was cheating on him with this girl, even though Joey was gay.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

They went into Kaiba's bedroom, and Kaiba directed him to a dresser.

Kaiba then squatted down to the bottom drawer of the dresser, took a breath, and said, "I've had this for a long time. After everything my stepfather did to me, I couldn't muster the strength to throw it out. It held too many emotional attachments to it."

"What is it?" Joey asked.

Kaiba shuttered. "It's what he used to dress me in....the most humiliating thing I ever had to endure."

Joey looked concerned. "Did he also make you dress up as a prostitute?"

"Yes, but that has nothing to do with it. I rather liked that outfit." Kaiba stated, making Joey give him a double-take.

Kaiba opened the drawer and looked away in shame. Joey looked down at the old white uniform. "Uh....it's a uniform."

"I know." Kaiba practically choked. "It's horrible!"

"Its....a school uniform."

Kaiba wiped a tear from his eye, saying, "I wanted to show this to you, to show you just how much you mean to me. I've never shown this to anyone....not even Mokuba."

"Uh....but this is what you used to wear when we first met you. I mean....didn't Mokuba all ready see you in this? Infact, didn't like 'everyone' see you in this??" Joey asked.

Kaiba looked down in shame. "That's what makes it so terrible."

Before Kaiba closed up the drawer, Joey grasped his wrist. "Thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me. I can tell we are really meant to be together. Let's get married!"

Kaiba looked normal once again, without a sign that he was even crying. He closed the drawer up, stating, "Sorry, I also wanted to tell you that I'm breaking up with you."

* * *

Narr: I know some of the direction Chapter 2 goes in is all over the place (heck, I even had a minor guest starring appearance!). Again....the story is a generalization of Yugioh stories I have actually read in the past. Some parts have been used so often in other stories to the point of smothering a reader to death, while other things not so often. Generalization means I took the basic idea of what I've seen, making a similarity to any other story vague at the very most. But, that doesn't mean I'm making fun of or targeting any specific story, at all.

Future regards: Also, I'm really starting to get out of writing, now. I couldn't do anymore editing on this story, so it was sent out 'as is'. If it's not funny enough for anyone, well then I'm sorry. So, besides this story, and perhaps another one shot coming up after this, I can't guarantee anything else will be coming out, especially Yugioh related. I might have a DBZ sequel of one of my older fics. But, I can't say when. Thanks everyone for sticking with me for this long and praising me on my work. I'm glad you all liked them.


	3. Chapter 3

**YUGIOH**

A Match Made in Heaven?

Chapter 3.

"What??!" Joey asked. "Where the hell did that come from????"

Kaiba stood and looked down at him. "Remember when I told you I don't believe in pity, or love, or compassion, or eating, or acting human?"

"Yeah...." Joey said, wondering where he was going with this.

"Well, it's something I simply can't let go of. Even though I love you, I don't believe in love. Let me show you an example...." Kaiba stated.

They moved to his desk, as Kaiba pulled out an egg and a hammer. He put the egg down. "This is me." He then showed the hammer, and stated, "This is love." And smashed the egg with it.

Joey rubbed his chin, looking confused. "I'm not very good with math. Is this like a word problem?"

"Here....see this laptop? That's me." Kaiba pulled a switch, and an anvil landed on the machine and almost through the table. "That's me after love."

"I'm still not sure I'm following you. Could you do that again?" Joey asked.

Kaiba pulled out his phone, and said, "Security, the butler....code 6." He then moved to the window and pointed out for Joey to see.

The butler was patched up and brought out to the driveway. "That butler is me." The limo came roaring in a circle, hitting the guy at top speed, causing him to be launched in the air. "That's me when love strikes."

"Don't you think you're taking this 'love thing' a little hard?" Joey asked, as the limo waited for the butler to land before racing over him once again.

"Well, it's more than that." Kaiba stated, walking away from the ambulance scene, as they carted the poor butler away. "I'm also thinking of Mokuba."

"But, I was desperate! I needed the money!" Joey spat in fear, immediately assuming that Kaiba figured out that he had slept with his brother, while he was still on the job as a hooker.

Kaiba looked at him strangely, then added, "If it's found out in the news that I'm gay, that will effect our stocks, which could destroy Kaiba Corp. Mokuba could end up penniless."

"You're gone for months at a time leaving Mokuba alone, and you're doing this for him???" Joey asked.

"I've sacrificed everything so that Mokuba could be happy!!" Kaiba blurted.

Joey said, "Okay....let's think this over for a minute. Mokuba's rich and never sees his brother. If you guys were poor, you would be in a common household having a normal job and seeing Mokuba all the time. Yet....it's best for him to never see you and have money."

"You don't understand! Our views are too different! You can't accept me for who I am! We're through, get out!" Kaiba snapped.

Joey shook his head, saying, "You can't break up with me....you all ready did!" And stormed out of the house.

Joey ran from the house, crying like a girl. His prince charming had tossed him away like yesterday's garbage. But, that meant he had no where to go, but home....back to his father! He couldn't take having to endure that again! "Oh, woah....my life is so terrible! I should kill myself!"

But unknown to him, there was a dark shadow lurking in an nearby alley, pulling old banana peals off of himself, after being stuck in a garbage can since chapter 1. 'Don't worry, son....I'll do that for you soon enough. Mwahahaha!!'

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Joey burst in the doorway of Yugi's grampa's game shop, as they all turned looking very sadly towards him. "Joey, I'm so sorry....we all feel terrible!"

"Yeah, is there anything we can do for you?" Tea asked.

Joey froze, not sure what was happening. "Uh....about what?"

"About Kaiba!" Tristan said. "He dumped you, didn't he?"

Joey blinked. "What, did he call here?"

"No, but we can tell." Yugi smiled.

Tea nodded, "We can see it on your face."

Joey was getting really angry now, tired of the fact that his friends could so easily guess everything about his love life, and not the parts that really counted. "Is there anything else that you guys know about me, I should know about?"

"Not yet." Tea said. "But if it comes up, we'll make sure to let you know."

Joey paused, looking over his friends. He then said, "Hey, guys....I have an announcement to make."

"What is it, Joey?" Yugi asked.

"Remember when I said at school that I was abused by my Dad?" Joey asked.

Tristan was making motions for him to shut up, as Yugi and Tea laughed. Tea said, "How can we forget? That was funny, Joey."

"Yeah. The problem was....I was serious. And that makeup you saw? That wasn't for a clown costume. My Dad has me....dress up as a prostitute. I sell myself so that he can afford his beer and gambling. Infact, my Dad's raped me multiple times." Joey turned away. "I wanted to tell you guys the truth, but I could never muster the strength."

He then began to sob. "But now, with Kaiba breaking up with me....I have no where to go but back to my Dad. And I don't know what to do!"

Both Yugi and Tea laughed and clapped. "Wow, Joey....that's great!" Tea said. "The only problem is I think the whole rape thing might be a little extreme for your audience."

"Yeah, I agree." Yugi said.

"Are you guys mental??!!" Joey snapped. "It aint a fucking act! This is real! It really happened!!"

Both Yugi and Tea looked stunned. Joey sighed, "You finally get it....don't ya?"

"That's amazing!" Yugi said. "You make it sound so real. You should look into acting when we get out of school, Joey. I think you'll do real good."

Joey just stared at them.

Tea nodded, "I agree."

"Jesus Christ, what do I gotta do to get through to you guys....hang myself?!!" He snapped, then stormed out the door, ignoring the cheering and clapping on the way out.

While Joey was stewing outside, Tristan came out. He approached, saying, "Man....I told ya you got to be careful. It's a good thing that acting excuse is working so well, or they might have found out."

"Dude....I don't think they'd get it if I stamped it on their faces with a brick!" Joey snapped.

"So, what are you gonna do? You can't go back to your Dad's." Tristan said.

Joey shrugged, "I don't know. I might not have a choice. Think I could crash at your place?"

"Hey....no can do. That's reserved for Prince charming to come and save you. Sorry." Tristan replied, as Joey nodded in total understanding. "Why don't you go back to Kaiba and talk to him? You need to work these things out."

Joey nodded, saying, "Maybe you're right. He's just....a complicated guy."

"So are you." Tristan said.

Joey grinned. "Yeah, we're made for each other....aint we?"

Tristan grinned and slapped his sensitive shoulder again, causing Joey to buckle. "Go get him, tiger."

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Joey headed back to the mansion. Outside, Kaiba was standing there looking around. As they looked at each other, time seemed to stop. In slow motion, they ran to each other and hugged. "Oh, I missed you so!" Joey breathed. "You are my everything! I can't stand to be without you!"

"I was so wrong to let you go!" Kaiba replied. "After you left, Mokuba got kidnapped! I had to go and save him, risking my life to do so! But after I rescued him, I realized how foolish I was to let you go. You mean so much to me, and life can be so short."

There was a long pause as they hugged. But after a little while, Joey said, "Uh....wait a minute. You mean, you only chose to come back together with me because Mokuba was captured?"

Kaiba nodded, "Yes. If he wasn't captured, I doubt I would have even thought of you."

Joey paused some more, not sure if he exactly liked that piece of information.

Kaiba pulled away, saying, "And I realized I needed to keep you safe from those that treat you badly, as well. Come with me....I have something for you."

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

They took the limo, and drove to one of Kaiba's game shops. They then entered together, heading for the upstairs. Not far from them, there were two kids dueling. One cried out, "I attack with Dragon Zombie!"

The dragon zombie killed the other's monster. Right afterwards, the other kid cried out in agony while his life points dwindled to nothing. Once it hit zero, he then passed out on the dueling field.

Joey turned to Kaiba, asking, "Hey, Kaiba....if this is just one of your dueling games, then why did that kid get hurt?"

Kaiba shrugged. "I really don't know. We've checked out the system up and down, and yet people mysteriously get hurt and end up in the hospital, as if they were involved in a real Shadow Game."

"Weird...." Joey muttered.

Kaiba added, "We're calling it the GX syndrome. It seems to have happened ever since Yugioh GX had come out. Now, people get hurt in battles, even when there's no reason for them to be getting hurt." He shrugged. "Either way, they seem to like the additional danger from the pain it causes. As long as it makes money and we don't get any lawsuits because of it, then it's fine by me."

As they continued to Kaiba's office, a security guard stopped them, saying, "Sir....there was a woman who called, by the name of Mary Sue, looking for a Joey Wheeler?"

"I'm not here!!" Joey spat. "If she calls again, tell her I'm dead! I heard her message, then jumped off a cliff and committed suicide!"

Kaiba looked over, saying, "I thought you were run over by a steam-roller."

The security shook his head at that, saying, "But, that would only make a person blind....everyone knows that."

They both looked at the security guard strangely, then kept walking....as once again Kaiba began to wonder if Joey was cheating on him with a woman.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Upstairs, away from the whole dueling scene, Kaiba picked up a gift box and gave it to him. "It's for you....open it."

Joey opened it, and wasn't amused with what he found. "A dog suit? Is this supposed to be funny?"

"Not at all." Kaiba said. "Remember when I showed you that outfit Gozaburo made me wear at one time? Well, I figured anyone that made you wear something against your will should also pay. I got that for you from Duke."

"Really?" Joey asked. "I'm surprised you could convince him."

"Well....to ensure his answer would be a yes, I also got this from him." Kaiba said, showing what looked to be a full head of hair that once belonged to Duke.

"What the hell is that??" Joey asked.

"I scalped him." Kaiba said. He then smirked, adding, "Well....I figured I should get a trophy, too."

"Are you crazy?? You can't do that!" Joey said.

"Why not? You said I couldn't hurt your father. You never said anything about Devlin. I also found out you used to be harassed by a certain gang of kids." Kaiba then opened another box, showing an entire box of yo-yo's. "Let's just say, I guarantee they wont bother you again."

"Stop it!" Joey snapped. "I can take care of myself! I don't need you trying to protect me!"

"Aren't you the one that was crying like a little girl and letting yourself get beat-up by your Dad, without doing anything about it, before?" Kaiba asked.

"Well....that's....different!" Joey blushed. "Either way, I don't need protecting!"

"Fine....then we're through."

"What?" Joey asked.

"You heard me. You want to throw my gifts back in my face, then I don't think you're worth it. Get lost. Go crawl away like the dog that you are....and this time, don't come back." Kaiba snapped. "If you're so tough, then you wont have any problems back at your father's place."

Chapter 4.

Joey was thrown out again, and moping while he went down the random streets. "I can't believe he broke up with me....again!"

He dropped down to his knees, crying, "Why? What did I ever do to make him not want me! Life is not fair! I cannot live without him!!"

"....I'll help you with that."

Joey turned to see his father there, brandishing brass knuckles with the engraving stamped into them_, 'I abuse my son'_, which immediately connected with his face.

Joey was now on the ground with the backwards version of those words imprinted on his cheek. He was once again groveling, sniveling, and crying for Kaiba to save him....even though he told Kaiba he has no problem protecting himself, as he continued to be beaten while not bothering to do a thing about it. After his father tossed a building on his head and stomped on him over and over, the guy then decided he would rape him.

"Joey, there you are!" Yugi suddenly said, as he approached him in the darkened alley. "We were looking for you, everywhere!"

"Yugi, thank god! Save me!!" Joey exclaimed, as his father began to now repeatedly rape him.

Yugi just smiled and shook his head. "That is one hell of a rehearsal, Joey. Is this a play your practicing for at school? I guarantee you, this will be a big hit!"

"Dammit, you stupid ass....I'm being raped here!! Don't you get it, yet?? This is REAL!!" Joey said.

Yugi laughed, saying, "That's funny, Joey. But, seriously....you forgot your backpack at our house. Oh, by the way....congratulations! You and Kaiba are back together again, aren't you??"

"Yeah....but he broke up with me again, right after." Joey sobbed at the moment, while ignoring the fact that his father was attacking him.

"Don't worry." Yugi winked. "It wont be for long. You'll be back together soon."

"How do you know that?" Joey asked, ignoring the grunts his father was making, behind him.

Yugi smiled, saying, "I can see it on your face!"

Joey looked at Yugi like he was insane, as his friend went skipping away. He then remembered the whole thing with his father, and said, "Yugi, wait! Save me! Or....atleast get Kaiba over here!! I need him to....rehearse with me! Yugi!!"

"You're a fucking gay!??" The father then suddenly slurred. "You're a disgrace to this family! I'll make you pay for that!"

Joey replied, "Now, hold up....you're screwing me blind, and got the balls to look down on me for being gay??"

"I'm not into guys....just under-aged incest." The father stated. "That's completely different!"

"Oh, yeah...." Joey sarcastically answered. "That's much better, in comparison."

"Now, I'll make you wish you were dead!" He spat.

'I already do....' Joey thought.

The father continued to rape and abuse him, until eventually he fell into blackness.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

_'Joey....wake up.'_

_'Huh? Yami? What's going on?'_

_'Your father nearly beat you to death. You can't let yourself slip away. Even if you lose, you have to pick yourself up and keep going. Life is more than winning. You have to carry on.'_

_'What? Who the hell are you to tell me this? Didn't you let yourself die, after losing to Yugi in that final duel?'_

_'Uh, well....that was different. Anyway....don't die!'_

_'Hey, up yours! I'll die if I wanna.....'_

Suddenly, Joey began to wake up. As he did, he saw a vision. The vision had the most sweetest candy smile on her perfect face.

"Mary Sue! AHHHH!!!" Joey screamed in terror.

"Don't worry, Joey....it's just me, your personal Kaiba and Joey stalker!" Mary Sue said. "Now that you're in the hospital, we can be together forever!"

"But, I thought you were just trying to make us jealous!" Joey stated.

She nodded, "Yeah....but I changed my mind. We can have one of those real fluffy hospital stories, where you're injured and will never fully recover, and I can be your nurse!"

"Somebody please kill me!!!" Joey cried, now wishing he was back being abused by his Dad.

Then suddenly a skeletal hand came out and shoved her out the window. "Eeeekk!!"

"There." Kaiba said. "Atleast that's over with. Everyone was sick of seeing her show up, anyway."

"Kaiba! You've saved...." Joey began to say then stopped, seeing the sight before him. "AHHHH! A skeleton!!"

"Sorry." Kaiba replied. "It's just me."

"Why the hell do you look like that??" Joey asked.

Kaiba explained, "I guess I wasn't eating again. I couldn't, after hearing about what happened to you, when I forced you back with your father. I'm sorry for telling you to leave, Joey. I feel terrible about it. After I heard you almost died because of your Dad, I realized I can't let you go. I have to do all I can to protect you....even though I don't believe in sympathy."

"Wait a minute." Joey said. "You're saying that if I didn't almost die from my Dad beating me to death, you wouldn't have come here?"

"That's right." Kaiba nodded. "If you were beaten up and raped, but still not considered critical....I doubt I would have acknowledged what happened. But, after hearing you could have disappeared forever, I had to come back to you."

"Uh, thanks....I think." Joey darkly muttered.

"By the way, I got you a gift." Kaiba said.

"Oh, yeah? What did you get me?" Joey asked.

Kaiba gave him some flowers. "Thanks!" Joey beamed. "They're starting to wilt a little....but I still like 'em just the same!"

"Yes, they're a bit wilted because I took them off your father's grave before I came here." Kaiba said.

Joey immediately dropped the flowers, saying, "What??!!"

"I got you this, too." Kaiba said, dropping the charred up remains of a metal belt buckle. "This is all that was left, after I blew up your Dad's home. I know you told me not to hurt him. But, after what he did....I assumed you'd change your mind. Now, he can never hurt you again. Happy?"

"No, I'm not happy!!" Joey choked out. "I don't care if he nearly killed me and raped me. He's still my Dad, dammit! Forget it. This time, I'm breaking up with you! We're through!"

A single tear dripped from Kaiba's eye once again, as he turned and walked away.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

....20 years later!!!

Joey approached the Kaiba home, wondering if they could ever make up for the time that had been lost. Would Kaiba even remember him? Would he be with someone else? After all, it was "20 YEARS" that it took for him to go back to Kaiba.

At that moment, Kaiba was coming out the door and looked around. There was Joey standing in his yard, looking all sad and puppy-eyed at him.

"Joey!!"

Again, they both ran in slow motion at each other and embraced. "I never stopped thinking of you!!" Kaiba gushed. "Even after 20 years!"

"It's like it was just yesterday!" Joey sobbed. "....literally! Infact, after 20 years, how the hell can we just pick up like this??"

Kaiba shrugged.

Joey continued, "Anyway, I never got together with another person, never had sex or even considered it for 20 years, because my heart was always there for you!"

"That's exactly what happened with me!" Kaiba said. "I slept with over 200 people since then. But, not one of them ever came close to you....my Transvestite whore."

"I'm you're WHAT??" Joey asked.

Kaiba looked down at him. "Well....you were a whore, and dressed in drag. Hell, you even slept with my brother, once."

"That's it! I'm breaking up!" Joey snapped.

Kaiba blinked. "We didn't even get back together yet. And it's been 20 years!!"

"Well, I can wait another 20 more, until you treat me right!!!"

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

....40 years later.

Two very old men were at the church, waiting to get married. After they ran into each other once again, they decided to keep their mouths shut and quickly get married in order to ensure they wouldn't break up with each other again. After all....if they waited any longer, they'd be a pile of dust.

A very old Kaiba was dressed in a cheap woman's prostitute outfit with black fish net stockings, and Joey was dressed in a white school uniform, with gold contacts and green hair. They dressed in each others angst as a way of acceptance of each other. These outfits on two very elderly men was enough to make the priest marrying them almost puke. Infact....he had all ready done so twice.

"You are now man and....oh, god!" The man said, turning away and throwing up once again.

The two wrinkled up prunes looked at each other and beamed.

"We wasted so much time!" Joey cried.

"Yes, but now we have all the time in the world to finally be together!" The old Kaiba said.

They kissed. And right afterwards....Kaiba gasped, clutching his heart....and died.

"Noooo!!" The elder Joey spat. "Life is so cruel!!"

"You can still get it on with me, sonny." The now old Mokuba winked. "So, how much do you charge now? Since your such an old prune, do I get a discount??"

END

Joke Preview:

Watch in the next exciting story....as Joey ran to Kaiba, and stated, "You can't leave me, Seto! I'm pregnant!"

"No!!!" Kaiba cried in panic, before pausing and thinking about it. "Wait a minute....aren't we both guys? I got an A in Health, and I'm pretty sure it's safe to say that that's impossible."

"Well, hmm....ya got a point, there." Joey nodded in response. But, then he looked back up and stated, "But, it happened, anyway! I wont let you abandon your love child!"

* * *

Note: So, you all know....the joke preview is just that: a joke. There are no 'next stories', so you can put your minds at ease. I doubt I would dare to torture my viewers by making an actual sequel! This was made to basically make light of the generalization that has been put out from so many Kaiba/Joey romance stories (as mentioned, already). I couldn't resist. Hope you liked it (and wasn't tortured to death).


End file.
